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Joined 10 months ago
Cake day: June 28th, 2025
  • beemikeoak@lemmynsfw.comtoscience@lemmy.world•First wheelchair-using astronaut touches down after ride to edge of spaceEnglish
    13·
    4 months ago

    Great if it was free for charity to an engineer. We do be coming out with every kind of crazy shit that people love like the iPhone.

    But

    If they did pay…that could have been such a nice 10, maybe 50 different robotic wheel chairs with velvet hand made upholstery accents and memory foam cushioned. If that was my wheel chair money I would have a jacking off button for my house chair. It would automatically unzip my pants and deploy a one time use fleshlight with vibration action and turbo powered vacuum insertion. Once properly lubricated, a turbo pump would spool up to 30,000 rpm and servo motors would align it to my manhood with pid precision metrology. I’d never leave the house. It would also be practical serving as a way for me to pee and poo privately into a quick change colostomy bag. Every day my house maid with very large voluptuous boobs would reload my chair up to 60 flashlights and 60 colostomy bags. And that’s just the beginning.

    My outdoor chair would be 4X4 all wheel drive with wheel lock and independently dampened electromagnetic shock absorbed suspension. On wheel lock mode my chair would be a 6 legged ghost in the shell inspired robotic spider with lasers… Hey! Lady I was in line! I would say. Next thing you know I’m paying for my Costco chicken bag and the Karen is going home with a new laser cut orifice. Sorry Karen! I apologize, Karen’s of the world have been nothing but nice to me, and I’m sorry that your name was picked for generalizing women assholes.

    I would probably not have a quadcopter flying wheel chairs, a submarine chair or an airtic icebreaking chair…that you would know about. But a fishing canoe chair would be nice…otherwise known as a canoe. Mine ofcourse would have turboprops and a robotic arm from personal diesel-electric hybrid Ford F650 would pluck my out of the water after my every day fishing trips to the lake down the street.

    But sure, 2 minutes in weightlessness “trying” to flip upside down, that sounds great. To each his ow…ohh my God I’m gonna come! Sorry, just woke up in my couch and forgot about my automated fleshlight wakeup call alarm system.